Ash Blonde
Blonde Notes Experiment: Self Concept Release to find freedom
The experiment began in a circle of spiritual warriors. The question put to it was: "What mask or character would be more difficult for you to enter? What image do you want never wanted to portray? Who judge wants more out of yourself? "
In an independent, rebellious artist, struggling, I've heard, "Being a businessman wear suits and ties every day and have a lot of money. "From a butch lesbian male was comfortable shave their legs and wear dresses and makeup." A successful business woman replied: "Being a street person, neglected and dirty." My response was: "Being a stereotypical crazy, sexy blonde."
My image of myself as a serious, spiritual teacher awareness did not jive with things culturally considered fair: Silly, sexy, playful and seductive. The only thought of this energy is associated to me the shivers. In my mind, was very polite, intelligent, thoughtful, compassionate, reliable and rewarding. With long brown hair and some loose clothes, I felt safe and acceptable.
It was a dangerous comfort that I have visited. Every time we moved into our masks, no matter how much believe they are seeing, we reject another part of ourselves. I chew broken before, and knew the tremendous energy we save when we walk directly into our fears with open eyes.
Several years ago, I went from a ruin, a trailer, no water flows in the middle of a huge ranch for a small apartment in Hong Kong. This large apartment complex, if I lived with my family, stay at least ten times as many people to leave the city. My goal: to pass into a young, politically active, independent, rebellious middle age, a businesswoman who work hard. It was just for the summer look. I wanted to pay my debt, and I was eager to see if I this operation could pull out undercover. I realized I was in the ordinary world, for fear of losing my center, to somehow be assimilated. And I knew that the only way through.
In terms of Hong Kong, I started a list of all the people who interact to recall the last twelve years my college town: my dearest friends, lovers, teachers, students, acquaintances, even people whose names were long forgotten. More of four names fill my diary when completed the list. Somewhere over the Pacific Ocean, began to summarize the top of my list. One by one, I send love and gratitude every person is breathing again, all the energy that was lost, releasing all the energy it had acquired. When I got fifteen hours after, was ready to create a new dream.
I shaved my legs, cut my hair, took over various disguises my sister, and got a job to reconcile stocks and bonds of Lehman Brothers Investment Corporation. I knew nothing about stocks and bonds. I felt weird wearing a suit. But I was determined to participate in this new mask I feared. I worked 12-17 hours a day often surprising lunch and dinner at McDonald's. I loved it. I felt liberated from my past. I returned to the States Together with a new confidence and a sense of unlimited possibilities.
Over ten years later, in another important experience, I went blonde. My mission: once again a limited break my self-concept and not willingly what I thought best. It took me months to build up my courage to go against the fears and agreements: "It's going to ruin my hair. I have a new group of apprentices in the future, I can not be blonde and sexy. It is not necessary anyway. "But once I was afraid it was too late, I knew I was done.
The transformation is seven hours, my hair went from brown, pink, orange and, finally, platinum blonde. I went to the hairdresser magically drawn to the fields of golden light oat straw in the sun outside my window. I was full of golden light, with blond hair in communion with all things gold and fill every cell of my body with sunlight. The Secret Life of the mystic blonde was very excited about the opportunity. The sunlight, mountains of gold, and has long golden hair open to a new level of awareness and deep connection with the light golden honey inside.
But more often, just for the experience I cringed when I looked in the mirror the new me. I felt ashamed. I was wrong, too sensitive, too strong. I wanted to be quiet and respectable again. And yet, I kept looking fears and doubts and judgments that have been raised, I remember: "No matter what the exterior looks, how people perceive you. The only thing that matters is your pride, its connection to the divine will, their connection to the wisdom of the natural world. "
Experiment results were fabulous unexpected link mystical disconnect my needs approval levels that was not even conscious, sincere smile made up, like Hollywood fake blondes that once held fiercely, a new meaning to the fun and joy stupid publication of my need to be considered a spiritual master and respectful to come in my true nature, step more fully live inside, not outside in.
I have my inner blonde.
About the Author
Heather Ash Amara weaves powerful practices of shamanic traditions to help people reach their potential. She apprenticed and taught extensively with Miguel Ruiz, author of The Four Agreements. She wrote Four Elements of Change and founded the Toltec Center for Creative Intent. She runs Spiritual Integrity Coaching with Raven Smith. Read more bold experiments from Heather Ash.
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