Adj Waist

writer's block?

I wondered what could make my story more interesting. As a basis for readers who have a with history. I already plety details and adj. and try to be clear and percision. Some of how I write only to give an example. This is directly from the story. He went on curves straicase marble into a passion and good taste Hall, dance was held. Her dress legnth soil along slowly sinking under its shiny red heels. She smiled with his perfect smile brightly at the child in black tuxedo, who was there to date. He took her hand gracefully, he was asked to a dance. He pulled the dance floor and wrapped his arms gently around her waist while she wrapped her arms around his neck, a withdrawal in the other. Not a word was needed for spoken because he was in his eyes. Love and Passion was the look he had looked deep into his soul. I have only 13 so I'm still young. Yes please help me this! Thanks in advance! : D: D

The biggest problem I see is that you start every word with "it" and "She" or a variant. Also can add to feelings of people and displacement of the reasons for everything. I edited the paragraph and added some tips that can show you how a dramatic change can do. It also requires that we split into small paragraphs. Tiffany came straicase Edit a winding marble Great Hall, where dance upon arrival commemerate as a rookie was arrested. The ground-length dress was long flowing slowly under its brilliant red heels. Swallowing her pride, she smiled perfect smile brightly at the child in the black tuxedo. He has been there to be his day. dork_ _Who this thought. He did not know of anything, it was just a man has invited his father while his father saw. He took her hand gracefully, he was asked by a barbaric dance in their own way, do not bother to ask, but simply to take. To _Way dad_ pick thought. Returning to the dance idiot and gently wrapped his arms around her waist while she wrapped her arms around his scrawny neck, a fold in the other. Not a word was needed to be spoken, as it was in his eyes. His eyes spoke of a love so deep you can never deny. Unfortunately, no one listens. ________ 2 Edition: Belinda walked down the winding marble straicase the Great Hall, where decades of the ancient dance was held. She loved dancing, gave a brief respite from their hellish existence. The dress was long-term land along slowly flowing under their high heels, bright red. They looked so radiant as the night he died, corrupted by the decay of the grave. He smiled his perfect smile brightly at the child in the black tuxedo, he was there to date. As everyone in the dance, died in the fire and been condemned to repeat it once a year. He took her hand gracefully, he was asked to a dance. Belinda took her hand as it did then, and always will be. The man pulled him to the dance floor and wrapped his arms gently around her waist while she wrapped her arms around his neck, a fold in the other. Not a word must be spoken, as it was in his eyes. His eyes shone with the love of a young Spring, a love that could never now be fulfilled because of the fire that took their lives earlier sixties. She savored the moment, at midnight, she once again caught in the cold embrace of the grave a year. ________________ We have two very different stories that are different and more interesting by adding details and motivation charecter. Why dance celebrated? Who's invited? Why are you here? T wants to be there? Does she like another guy more?

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